changes can be good like how peter Parker got bit by the radioactive spider and became spiderman and bagged mary-jane or how logan the mutant became Wolverine when he was pumped with $1/2 billion worth of anamantium
But the change i have been feeling is summin which i thot wud never come to me ..the change of being responsible!
this very thought makes me feel sick...
I was watchin this movie called Wild hog's about these 4 guys in their 40's facing issues..i connected with John Travolta's character who has a life which his buddies think is great but he only knws that his wife has left him and he is bankrupt...just like him even i feel,not like a wild hog but a Wild Lamb who occasionally goes crazy!
What's evn scary is the fact that im only in my 20's and i feel like this ,does this mean by the time in hit 30's i'll loose my will to live and go jump off a ledge?
this is very weird coz i have been crazy,neurotic,wild,reckless and downright mean for a major part of my life!
I have been:
busted my mumbai police various times for "FUN" which crossed the line
Sat behind in the cop car in my Jammie's for the "FUN"
Spent 1 hour in a railway lockup for traveling with a ticket but on a ladies special train on Ganpati day(totally un-intentional)
Kicked the headlights and tail lights outta various rikshaws for not lettin me pass
Being drunk outta my head on various occasions and not liked it!
Dated the good,the bad and the FUGLY!
this list is kinda endless and never ending but i kust don't have it any more in me!
These days i have mellowed out like a a gay guy in a all lesbian bar!
just the thought of doin something reckless makes me go whimp!
Many say i have changed for the better..but have I?
i was a guy who was always materialistic and greedy ...i was LEX LUTHOR..i was self obsessed and mean ..i used to get what i wanted at any cost ...even if it meant altering my persona putting up an act or even endangering sum1's life but now i just don't have the will power man! Sometimes i miss the old me ..he was the black suit wearing spider man,he was Sylar no matter how good they want to be or do they jst cannot!
As i reflect inside me trying to find out wat happened to the goal driven,self obsessed,greedy vivek who got the job done while being the Vivek who's become lazy,wimpy, and a pussy
Wish me luck!
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