TypeCAST

Recently..i had the opportunity to attend my first catholic wedding..YES! i was invited i have the invitation card to prove it. I'm not much of a wedding person but on this one i had to be physically present as it was my dear friend Tina's brothers wedding. i have attend my share of Hindu weddings and i have to be honest we south-indian people have the most boring wedding around..i mean its really really boring just thinking of this fact dosent makes be not wanna marry! whilst i was thinking how sad a wedding function my people have, i almost played with the idea of converting to catholicism!! So as i was cursing my religion i got the idea about this blog (MIND U THIS IS TO BE TAKEN IN THE LIGHTEST POSSIBLE MANNER AND I HAVE NO INTENTION OF BASHING ANY RELIGIOUS SENTIMENTS INCLUDING MINE .) NOW that i have got the shiv-Sena and the VHP off my back let me proceed without guilt
wedding type:

catholic:
the best kind there is..its got everything a guy wud want!good food,free booze,rocking music and yes pretty women everwere u see!no wonder these ppl look so happy on their wedding day!did i mention der is free booze and pretty women ?

the Punjabi wedding:
the best kind Hindu's have to offer!food so good that ur next 20 generation will be born with cholesterol problems!the pretty women dressed and made up so heavily that one may feel the of being a part of an Ekta Kapoor soap,fat balding men everywhere u lay ur eyes on!,hot garma garam family gossip that will make a paparazzi feel ashamed and music that will even make a deaf guy more deaf! yes its got et all! The

Muslim wedding:
you have to be in this one just for the sake of witnessing something which one rarely gets to witness in this day and age.it is beautiful and royal at the same time..other form of weddings have changed but this one maintains its heritage till date.the food is awe sum,the whole script of the wedding is wonderful and not to mention u also get to share a huge dinner plate with 10 other people!wats in it not to love?
The south-Indian:
ah!the mother of all boring bashes!i have witnessed a million of these in this life time,yet it dosent stop following me!loud erratic music which no one gets,old folks coming up to you and telling you "my how tall u have become!",badly dressed up and i mean really really badly dressed up people in ther 10 ton silk saris,food so bland and tasteless u'll crave for the hospital food frm the last time u wer admitted!and yes the masterpiece(at least for people like me)"which engg/medical college beta?" did some say marriages are made in heaven??

A trip to my paradise city

"Take me down to the paradise city
Where the grass is green
And the girls are pretty
Take me home Oh, won't you please take me home"
most guns and roses fans may have heard this song thousands of time..even i have..and i love this song totally
All their lives people search for their paradise city..they move to pune,lonavala,virar etc etc
but i found mine...and it wasn't a new place,it was a place i had been to many times before but never really took the time out to appreciate the beauty of the city
Bangalore or Benagaluuru as they call it now is just like any other metro in this country..so wat make is any different than the city of Mumbai we all so love?
well for starters its called BANGALORE its not called MUMBAI..we mumbai ppl are so used to pointing fingers at the authorities that we forget that we ourself are the root cause of all problems in the city..let me illustrate
when i landed in Bangalore i was so amazed to see clean streets and by clean i don mean mumbai clean(wer all the dust and garbage is gathered by the civic authorities and pushed on the side of the road or under a tree)it was really really clean all the time i was traveling i din feel like throwing the cigarette butt on the street coz i honestly din feel like littering!
i had gone to Bangalore for a a casual visit to my cousins..i really din know wat to expect from the city ..living all my life in this city(mumbai) i think has me me feel like we wer a lil superior than ppl frm the other city coz we r from the city that never sleeps
It was such a welcome change from my normal boring life..
business had just picked up and boy did it pick up !
the very second i landed i felt right at home something i had not felt all my life!
the weather was so pleasant...even at 12 noon it was so cold that i was feeling chilly even in stood under the sun!can u beat that!
the place is so neat and well organized..for instance one will never find roadside stalls or vendors occupying the side walk as it is meant for the purpose of walking exclusively !
the cops aint fat and disgusting like our trusty mumbai police!

and now my favorite part of the trip ..
people in Mumbai have this general notion that everything down south is two shades darker and unattractive and comes with a "madrasi "accent
well i have nothing to say to em coz..i don blame em..what can u expect frm a guy how takes the virar fast to his crappy job everyday and the furthest he has gone is lonavala to get some chikki's for his mamma..and the closest thing to south Indian he knows is the paan wala frm the dance bar he frequents !
Bangalore was such a welcome change wen it came to girls ..in this city one may find a lot of pretty girls but intelligent grl...well haha dats a urban legend out here!seriously, i met my sister and she had got along with her a colleague with her (pretty as she was ..i have to say she was smart as well)..it was the best cup of coffee i had ever had in my life!..and not to mention every pub/cafe/restaurant i went in..was filled with pretty smart attractive girls!gosh how i wish i wer there now..

and one other thing that makes Bangalore totally rocking...you can buy liquor from a mall and its cheaper than mumbai!!

this mix of pretty girls,clean air,cheap alcohol,clean roads..and the absence of a certain sect of people made me fall in love with the city..while on my way back i almost cried while i landed in this dreadful city!

ur life sucks wen!

Is life really full of choices?

This topic has being lingering in my head for quiet some time now..i always keep wondering that do we in any way have a choice of being who we are,of choosing wer we wanna be,of who we want to be friends with,of making our own destiny?
Some people may say that ''errr..i dunno..i mean who knows wat the future has in store for us?"
yes one may be a wuss and except this fact of life put in our head by the yash raj film co.but who died and elected yash raj and gang the pope?
i mean aren't we in charge of our own future?
hell yeah we are i say!
life is full of choices its just that u have to get off us ass and grab it by the nuts..most successful ppl did that ..its just that we have to be more smart wen it comes to us!
when i say we have the power to give our life a direction i mean it!
i have have not been the most optimistic person in life but i kinda figured this interesting lil tid bid that the only reason why i was such a negative guy was coz i was surrounded by them ..and by 'them' i mean my parents mostly(i don blame them for any thing but they wer after all the 1st ppl i got to know in my life),my friends(once again i don blame any1 in particular but i feel a few of my pals still live in the dil chahata hai scenario)and the biggest guy who gets the blame is me coz i always allowed these ppl to influence e in the way they wanted me to get influenced.
there comes a time i everyones life when he/she has to make tough choices..choices which may seem very unfair and harsh.
its a openly known and discussed fact that how self-centered i am..how i put my own goal above everybody else's..many don't like the way i am ..hell sometimes even i hate myself for the way i am..but everybody great din become great bcoz they waited for others or thot 'shud i do this? shud i trample an innocent person for my happiness?'
every one has desires in life ..one of my friends has a desire to fall in love,another one wants to life a happy life being an normal person in society,one wants to get married,one wants to be with friends all the time yes they all have choices of being the person they want to be but are they really doing anything bout it??
i don't know !and i don't care coz i have stopped caring!everybody has free advice for any1 but smart ppl who are good at it make a living out it!
i have come to terms with who i am now..i have realized that im the type of guy who can achieve anything and everything he wants to by doing it all alone!
i have wasted too much time by calling up friends who never answer the phone..and wen they do i have to take shit from them summin like 'im busy' wen in reality they are playing cricket or wasting their lives drinking i hope of forgetting their sorrows.
i have wasted too much time thinking about what happened to me in the past
now i know i have a choice ..a choice of believing in my self!
and be rest assured till date whatever i have being telling you ppl about how i will achieve everything i ever dreamed of having ..i will and that too pretty soon..coz mind is a terrible thing to waste!&as sum1 rightly wrote in a testimony that i have royal blood pumping in my vein's!
world im putting you on a notice!im here to win and win i shall!

Nightmare at Andheri Station(east-west)

This is exactly why i don't do public transport!
and by public transport i mean all forms of it..B.E.S.T,our trusty rail network and the horrendous monstrosity called AUTO RICKSHAWS!
i honestly pity the people of mumbai who are subject to such torture all-the -time.
for a major part of my life i have used our trusty public network of transport..but back then a minimum ride in a rik was like 7 bucks,the minimum bus fare was like 2 bucks!
wen i turned 18 i kissed all of it goodbye!coz i had my babayyy ..my sweet child my very own bike!
since then i kinda lost touch with wats been happening in the world of public transport.
all these years like the brat I am I have been assigning my bike servicing needs to my dad's faithful staff..but today since i had nothing better to do I decided to go and deliver my baby to the spa myself!
i got up in the morning dressed up and set off to the bike shop and delivered him me precioussss i got the works for my baby and i was told by the grease monkey at the service center that I WOULD GET A CALL FROM THEM AT 7 P.M
AT 7.15 I CALLED UP THE SHOP AND THEY SAID MY BABY WAS READY AND I CUD PICK HER UP ...
now since i had no bike and i hate traveling in a rik i got into a slightly packed BEST bus .i was thinking 'hey this ain dat bad'..but my was i wrong bout it..
the place wer i was gonna go to was on the west of andheri so bus was the cheapest option i cud think of and afford at the time..i rarely ever use to notice the horrible traffic of this city on my bike ..coz im a good rider and can cut thru traffic at various speed like a German cutting knife!
but today i noticed how bad the traffic in this godforsaken town is!40 mins onboard a bus to reach a place which barely takes 15 mins on a normal day.. i was pissed and decided to go on foot! ok 1 more thing i never notice wen on bike is how i so mercilessly honk at pedestrians till the move outta my way..today the hunter became the hunted!dats all i have to say and yeah i was wearing my new shoes today and the shoe bite i got on both of my lil toes din make things happy for me either!
as i was walkin down a road very seldom taken by me(READ :ANDHERI STATION)i noticed the endless sea of people coming from all direction..a sea of sweaty,smelly,dirty people i don know for some reason kept bumping onto me!and ther was this MOFO who aimed for my SWATCH grr i cud have killed him for dat!
sweaty,thirsty,shoe bitten i reached or rather stumbled or dragged myself i hopes of reunion with my baby..to the darn bike shop just TO FIND IT SHUT!(coz sum1 from the grease pit forgot to mention the shops shuts its gates at 8 fickin pm!)
seeing the lock on the gates i started banging and kicking on it and at the same time shouting at the security guard and bitched how these fuktards at the service center wer unqualified to do a job which any guy with an I.Q OF 15 CUD DO!
broken and shattered i started walking back toward home coz i cud not find a empty bus ..at one point i was so desperate to sit dat i actually started to hunt for a rik!(yes i know im a sell out!)
but surprise surprise the rickshaw lobby got to me!they wer not willing to give me a ride ..even to hell wer all of em r gonna end up!as i was dragging myself to god knows wer i relied n the last option..which meant pussying outt and calling my dad's staff and asking em to pick me up from wer i was stranded..and yes i did bitch out and called for help..but apparentlythe new kid who rides my old bike is quiet a evel kanivel and made me beg to sweet lord for mercy!eyes sthu i decided not to speak a work and accept my death today..but sum1 up der really hates me so he decided to keep me here and watch me in full misery and agony!
god bless the public transport system in this city..coz after today only you people are gonna be using it!

tour de hotel

hey check it guys ya playa hatas'
this is some new shit it tried
my very 1st video blog!!!

Have you wondered??

your's truly has been lazy for quiet some time now...and especially after the last blog u can tell how utterly and truly bored i have been!
But i am a fighter i shall entertain all even if it means i have to write this blog with 6 pins stapled to my chin(which btw i busted on Sunday...owww! and no i din get beat up by anyone i fell down a flight of stairs and landed on my chin!)


OK, so i was out of good ideas to write about so i began a nation wide search with MTV and Anu malik for a new idea and and to shockingly both Mr. Malik and MTV had nothing original to give me!
so as usual i was on my own..
so i took a piece rite outta Jerry Seinfeld's book i write about nothing important! or better yet nothing!

so let the wondering begin!

derz a lot of random stuff that goes in my mind and few of the imp 1z which i always ponder about are:
have you ever wondered why do particular sections of our society dress alike or in a particular way?
confused?
lemme illustrate
since im gonna be bashing a lotta races lemme begin with my own first!

south indians: who do my people always wear a shirt(mostly plain white or some ugly color like brown or purple ar pink) with even more disgusting looking trousers of even uglier colors?
and why don't dey ever tuck der shirts in?

maharastrians:wer do i even begin..have you ever wondered y marathis always and i mean ALWAYS wear those T-shits with collars which have horizontal stripes (color combo as follows:orange and white or blue and white or green and orange)(or as we call em the 'birth rite tee'

gujratis: have you you ever wondered y all gujju men wear more jewellery than women?
or why do the dress up like they are pimp's?or y do det wear gay looking body fitting tee's wen they have humongous paunches?

catholics:have u ever wondered who do these people always wer a shirt with pictures of a Hawaiian beach or pictures of goa on it?


most north indians(esp from U.P and Bihar):why do these people always smell like cattle?

have you ever wondered why all women my age are committed wer as guys like me are still single?does that mean the only option my kind has are 18 yr olds or married women?

have you ever wondered why do dogs have sex with so many bitches and never get AIDS?

have you ever wondered y do FUGLY LOOKIN guys are dating pretty women?

have you ever wondered what is SRK doing dancing on TV without his shirt on?

some more points to ponder about...

is GUNS AND ROSES EVER GONNA BE BACK?

will karan johar or KJO as the call him now ..ever admit hez gay?

will Rakhi Sawant ever shut up?

will Paris Hilton ever start wearing under garments?

will you finally admit i am smarter than you!