I'm back it's true and there's a lil bit of me in all of u!!

Ma peeps! Tis been a long long time !
Ma homedawgs and homdoggiegals it's 2010 already and is my pehala biloawg! God I missed blogging!
This year has began on a bad note but shall promise you this:
Like the price of food this blog will keep it's tradition of being highest in the non sense quotient!
Like sonia Gandhi it will cont murdering the Hindi bhaasha!
Like like motley crüe this will do all the groupies in sight !
Like skanky girls this will just not stop sucking!
Like cock rock songs this will not stop from you laying flat on Ur back with ur legs wide open!
Like gangsta rappers this will not stop talikn bout em bithes!

Lastly
Like the movie avatar this will be all fart and no shit!

So for a moment I request y'all to just belive in the ball and throw ur self,sing oops I did it again and hit me baby one more time and ...


Just help me rock out with my cock out!!

Parental guidence advised.

◄•►Fast forward►►

When school got over we wanted to be in college and now wen college is over we wish we could all go back to school when times wer much simpler than what its today!

Everyone thinks life wud be great wen we finally start working and earning but like everything else in life this phase too has surprises for everyone...i dunno wat y'all have in mind for your futures but i have thot of these things which i shud have by the time im 30,they are as follows:

1.Own a flat in Bandra carter road by the time im 30.(if not there then no were)

2.Own a BMW

3.Own a Yamaha R1 in the next 3 years

4.Be better than the IIM cousin Financially(at least!)

5.Be better than all those who went to UK,USA,Australia (wont have to work too hard for this 1...I was better than those quitters and wannabes to begin with)

6.Prove all my MBA buddies that a Degree doesn't always ensure success!(no hard work again)

7.Own 10 Restaurants at least and one really huge one.

8.Make Friends in politics or be in politics in some way.

9.Attend a Motley crue,Poison& a Kiss concert in Los Angeles or New york

10.Be Famous

11.Own a Gun

12.A monthly income of Rs. 15 lacks

Right now i dunno if any of these aspirations will come true or not but the least i could do is try...but i have a gut feeling all of these and even more will come true...we all can check back when im 30 and see how many of the things I aspire for have come true.

A day to remember...FOREVER!

Everyone has glorious day in thier lives where some days are just better than others...The day u get a new car,the day u graduate,the day u lost ur virginity,the day ur dad just gives u like 10 grands and tell u beta"shop ur ass off!" for no reason at all!.

Sometimes we are so obsessed with all the irrelevant and materialistic things that we oft forget how much the smaller things in our lives matter to us...competition has transformed us into zombies who just forget how much one day can mean to us even if we don't do anything important!

Recently i experienced such a day...some of u may knw my lovely,wonderful,sweet and very sexy girlfriend Aureen left for the States

for two weeks and both of us had been consumed with our respective work so much that we barely spent time together in a long,long time.

so we decided to spend a day together a whole day with no work talks,no seriousness.we just roamed and roamed on my bike frm Bandra to sion for lunch at sion lunch home for some chicken sukka and surmai rawa fry to waiting outside Hotel Jhakaas(sion dharavi rd partly a/c) due to rains to juhu beach for some gola and laughing and poking fun at so juniour college kids to following an odd couple and tryin to eavesdr

op on their convo to being harassed by a bunch of photographers on juhu beach prompting us to take pics of r memorable day to finding lik

e a million condoms (all used and apparently of the same brand) at the place wer we parked r asses to even going to vile parle east for a trip to saathe college to remind how sad life can be !

I wished the day would never end!

its that day i realized how happy i was with Aureen and how much i miss her now that she is away!

Baby please come back soon i miss u!

In pic the odd couple we followed and two dudes holding hands and walking into the sunset...

Chut~opia:-The story of J.B.Nagar,Andheri East,mum-59

I Have lotta free time these days...mainly coz its the season we restaurant people fear the most,tis' the silly season of shravan wer Marathi ppl do not eat non-veg food and outside stuff for a whole darn month its been a very greulling,painfully long low profit last 30 days!

But during the free time which i had,which BTW i spend mostly hanging outside my restaurant sitting on other ppls parked bikes checking chicks out as they come out to go to the "temple"(read their boy freinds)with devotion so religious that it wud make asaraam babu look ike a romeo passing lewd comments at the village market bai's.

I got a lot of time to see the way evolution has taken its course on my neighbourhood which i never really did since my 'saadk-chaap' days were behind me!

Now from what i hear wen i tell ppl i live in JB nagar is a big WOW! and followd by..the chick r really hot over there ...for the people of marol pipeline,chimatpada,pumphouse,sahar,kondivita JBN is Bandra carter road or werevr cool people hang out!

I mean blah,blah,blah...yes JBN has real pricey real estate in andheri east,last i heard my house was valued at 1.5 crores! yes ppl my upstairs guy offered my dad that much! it is close to the air port,station,has all types of shops u cud imagine and the pretty gals to top it off!

But wat was the real eye opener was the crowd that hangs out in totaly harmony,it's like an Indian United colours of benneton ad except more ugly and badly dressed!

There is every possible group that hangs out from the marol mamu's(mullas),the ghetto boys(pavli guys),the marwari maruders to the punjabi punks and the ghaati maalyas(the mechanics)!
these guys all come in cars mostly borrowed from a buddy or frm the garage the work in listening to outrageous music to impress grls which they never talk to! from Sean Paul's shake dat thing to sukhbir's panjaabi munda tera laand khada these guys occasionally belt a track or two frm some emraan hashmi starrer to impress the odd school grl too!

like dogs,every group has it own parking territory wer only they can park these groups i have seen are totally sausage fests !!man!! i have never seen any gal with em,not evn a ugly1!

The dressing of these guys is aslo summing which has to be the best and the most entertaining feature...most of the guys dress up like garage workers on der day off,the marol crowd dons the pathani,the punju crowd is all abt the sleeveless T's which highlights der huge butter chickan' bellies!,the ghetto boys all dress up like 50 cents and then there is the fashion rip offs who sport the fake Ed Hardy T's!

The girls! the best part! every year JBN has the skank of the year award for the grl who sleeps with all the car wallas! i wud love to name them but ill keep it a secret coz i know a few of them!!(only coz they r my restaurant patrons!) the grls in JBN r totally 1 dimensional thers is the group which thinks JBN is like the coolest place ever!!! and the other bunch who are wannabe townies who live in 1 bhk flats!! but none the less 1 thing i love abt the area is the Girls...its like only a generation away frm havin some pole dancers and strippers!

Another fascinating aspect is the ppl i grew up with most of them all pretended to be Big shots they behaved like holier than thou with me i cud never figure out y,but this month i found out it was coz of the fact i was better of than most of em...i knew more chicks than them,had a bigger house,car,bike watevr u knw!BTW all of them r unemployed and hang nr the pan walla drinking beer outa a bag all day long!

how do i know all this ??

coz until 3 years ago even i was one of them!!

Up yours! all ya ney sayers!

As i have my victory smoke and publish this i can only say I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS DAY A LONG LONG TIME!

7 years,5 colleges and 5 lak rupees later I am a proud GRADUATE!

From now on Vivek Nayak is nobodys bitch,im no longer at the mercy of the so called professors who kept constantly telling me i need an attitude adjustment! well Up yours assums losers!

Now i have my totally worthless Graduation cert telling everyone im a graduate of hotel management of the first class variety in a third world industry which pays u not peanuts but its discarded skins!

But then again who ever said the 6 o'clock news is pretty?

but also then again im not much of a news person! so i really don't care !

Now that i have my valued degree im gonna wait for a week till i get a copy and then the black parade shall begin,which involves me going to all the people and rubbing it in their faces and making them realize that the Rich,arrogant and intelligent people can never be stopped coz its the rule of the world ...the rich become richer and the poor maybe more in numbers but we have money which can turn ur own mothers/kids and husbands against you!

Words cannot describe how much relived i am!

Now that i am my own boss(literally)i shall take my time in extracting revenge from all who caused real embarrassment and shame to me just coz i was rich or had a secured future!

It will also be a message to the whole world that if u mess with Vivek Nayak he will destroy your life !

So fear the hatredcopter !!

Teri maa ki teri @#$%!!

Mumbai has it own lingo,we speak hindi but not the types the north speaks...people from dilli especially find it very tough to adapt to the 'Bambaiyya' lingo where A ghoda is a gun,Khoka is a crore rupee,thokna means killing someone and so on ya knw.

But what mumbai is also famous for me is its Notorious mis pronunciation of words,the material i have heard and collected over the years is Legendary to say the least.

here are a few famous ones:

Any station in mumbai: 'Tasion

Kurla station: churla 'Tasion

Spicy: picy

A computer: Kamputer

A laptop: Lyaaptyop

Chewing gum: A chingum or a chigum

if ur refering to a pal: Bantai/banta/bamai/mitra and the ever popular BOSS

BOSS also stands for: Brother of a sexy sister

Any elderly women: Maiidum

Chinese food is spelt as: Chinse/chines food

popular way of abusing some one: Teri maa ki C@*T teri!! bhosdi wale!!

A youngster on a bike: Rider/pilot

to hit someone: meine usse 'Bhar diye'

slapping: Ramtaaya/chaaptaya

Asking someone: AKSing someone

When ur refering to ur neighbour to some one else while gossiping(my mum's fave): pintu/chintu ki mummy

Also i would like some guidance as to where these places are located in mumbai as i wud love to visit them

chivda gulli

khadi machine

islampura

deed(one and a half) gully

mastan cottage

pathanwadi

curry road

Goo galli (yes GOO= shit)

kajuwadi

dagdi chawl

katal khaana(by far the most brutal place i have hrd of!)

Also finally id like to mention the names of the people i have heard these words and of these mystical places:

kusha

hajja

algoo

sagadi

ramya

daggdu

photya

and

Satmeet

Then & now

They say change is the most constant thing in life...i cant tell if its true or not,but lately I've been feeling the change

changes can be good like how peter Parker got bit by the radioactive spider and became spiderman and bagged mary-jane or how logan the mutant became Wolverine when he was pumped with $1/2 billion worth of anamantium

But the change i have been feeling is summin which i thot wud never come to me ..the change of being responsible!

this very thought makes me feel sick...

I was watchin this movie called Wild hog's about these 4 guys in their 40's facing issues..i connected with John Travolta's character who has a life which his buddies think is great but he only knws that his wife has left him and he is bankrupt...just like him even i feel,not like a wild hog but a Wild Lamb who occasionally goes crazy!

What's evn scary is the fact that im only in my 20's and i feel like this ,does this mean by the time in hit 30's i'll loose my will to live and go jump off a ledge?

this is very weird coz i have been crazy,neurotic,wild,reckless and downright mean for a major part of my life!

I have been:

busted my mumbai police various times for "FUN" which crossed the line

Sat behind in the cop car in my Jammie's for the "FUN"

Spent 1 hour in a railway lockup for traveling with a ticket but on a ladies special train on Ganpati day(totally un-intentional)

Kicked the headlights and tail lights outta various rikshaws for not lettin me pass

Being drunk outta my head on various occasions and not liked it!

Dated the good,the bad and the FUGLY!

this list is kinda endless and never ending but i kust don't have it any more in me!

These days i have mellowed out like a a gay guy in a all lesbian bar!

just the thought of doin something reckless makes me go whimp!

Many say i have changed for the better..but have I?

i was a guy who was always materialistic and greedy ...i was LEX LUTHOR..i was self obsessed and mean ..i used to get what i wanted at any cost ...even if it meant altering my persona putting up an act or even endangering sum1's life but now i just don't have the will power man! Sometimes i miss the old me ..he was the black suit wearing spider man,he was Sylar no matter how good they want to be or do they jst cannot!

As i reflect inside me trying to find out wat happened to the goal driven,self obsessed,greedy vivek who got the job done while being the Vivek who's become lazy,wimpy, and a pussy

Wish me luck!